Showing posts with label rainbow bridge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rainbow bridge. Show all posts

Friday, September 22, 2023

Grief

 Day 1- the day after Sept 21 2023

Last night I didn't know if I was really noticing it or if I was trying to place it on their actions, but the dogs were very ...

let me give an example: Ziva was more needy in wanting to play.  Peryn was more insistent on playing. Lada played along with him & cuddled me when I would start to cry.   

Last night in bed I noticed it. Lada laid much closer to my head & shoulder. Peryn laid right up against me, where Volos sometimes did.    Ziva was in the dog bed on the floor next to me.  

I woke up at 8:30am today & they were all in that position.   Normally I'd have been woken to have given them their brush chews (Brushas) and wanting to go downstairs. 

I got up, gave them their chews & walked around a bit picking up stuff. No one pushed for basement time. No one was obnoxious.  I let them out & Ziva chose to lay outside for a bit. 

I decided to take them down & they all ran down the stairs.  It's sooo much quieter & empty. They all played a bit, but Ziva left to go upstairs.  
After a bit, the 3 of us came upstairs. Ziva is out on the patio by herself.  I'm here in front of the computer & the other 2 are quietly resting.   

They know.   I'm having their person, Jen, come over to try to keep some normalcy.  Plus I enjoy talking with her & that's what I need as well. 


9.22.23

they were so excited to see Jen.  They played, but jen recognized it was too quiet/too subdued. We shed tears discussing Vo while she played with Lada & peryn.

the rest of the day yesterday was weird. They weren't acting normally. Wondering if part of that is because Volos usually was the one winding them up?
I tried focusing on them all as much as i could yesterday. They overall are subdued.  
Took them for a pup cup last night & Peryn was weird.  After he finished his, he got down on the floor.....




Ziva hasn't wanted to play tug. That was her favorite thing to do play tug between me & Volos.

This morning I returned to work. Wouldn't be able to focus on the  kids, so I sent them all to daycare. Peryn REALLY REALLY REALLY did NOT want to go. Nearly had to drag him.
I think he's concerned about me. 
Still not doing the best. I keep realizing i'll never get to hear or see or cuddle with him again. He was so much of my daily life--it's empty.  I hate it. Hate it with a passion.

before playcare this am

Wednesday, September 20, 2023

Volos Alexander, my Most Handsome, Destroyer of Boxes

Volos Alexander 

Longtime friends & family probably expected this. For those newer, I’ve written a tribute to each of my babies who has passed.  I don’t know if I’ll be able to get through this one though.  I am not even going to promise to try not to make this long…. This will definitely be a wordy introduction to my tribute.


In our lives we’ve been privileged to have been owned by a total of 9 dogs: Galen, Sheba, Goldberg, Duchess, Athena, Peryn, Lada, Volos, & Ziva.    Each one of them have brought something special into our lives. Each & every one of them were different and boy were they loved.    Galen, Sheba, Goldberg, & Athena were unique in that when the time came, it was of our choosing.    Duchess was the shocker.  Came out of nowhere & was quick and it was sudden.  Volos was essentially the same.   We only had the privilege of choosing the time for 4 of the ones who have gone on.  

As I said, each dog has brought something different & special to our lives.   Volos though… this dog we had with us the shortest, yet he made the BIGGEST impact.  

Volos came out of nowhere & stole the show.  My heart soon followed.  
After a very trying & stressful year of 2019, we unexpectedly lost Duchess on Dec 5 2019.  She was a unique dog in that she wasn’t overtly affectionate.  She had a strong steady presence in our lives that when she left, the hole she left was definitely not expected.  

Our plan at the time was to wait until Athena passed. We were still dealing with her DM & that was a lot along with 2 young cattle dogs.  We just wanted to focus on that. 

However a conversation that Rich had had with me MONTHS prior shaped what was to come. I was all about the cattle dogs & only had my sights on them.  In early 2019 (maybe), he said to me “I’m not saying now, but in the future our next dog needs to be a Bernese mountain dog.”   I looked it up quickly & initially was not blown away by the few pics I saw.  I definitely wasn’t impressed, but every time the future dogs were spoken of Rich had to say “Bernese!”

Fast forward to January 18th, 2020.  I went to a girl’s night-in at my friend’s house.  We were discussing dogs & I was questioned: “when I was getting another” dog &  "would it be another Heeler"? I explained we’d like to wait until after Athena passes & no it would not be another Heeler because Rich wanted a Bernese.  None of them were sure what one looked like so K looks up on her phone & shows the rest of them.   They were all “ooh that’s handsome” dog or "that's a big dog".   

Cut to the next morning, I am awaking from a good night’s sleep & grab my phone. My friend L, who was there the night before, sent a text with a link to a post.   Essentially it said something to the effect that “our phones were listening in on us”.   It was a link to a FB post regarding a Bernese for adoption in Ashland County-which was only an hour away at most.

Over the next hour or two, I shared the info with Rich, & we were hemming & hawing that it’s “too soon”, “Bernese’s in shelters are rare”, “another dog…”   Essentially it is left up to me to say “Might as well”.

We applied, got chosen,  and drove to pick him up the next day, Jan 20 Martin Luther King Jr Day.   He was a very sweet dog when we met with him.   He was a nervous wreck on the way home & even worse when we got him home.

He was definitely an abused dog that hid in Rich’s office & inside the crate when he didn’t get the courage to make his way out for some pats.  It stayed this way for awhile.

Over the next few weeks he would still hide away, but would start making his way for attention more often.    He felt comfortable enough with Rich to stay in the room when Rich entered.  Although if I entered the room, he’d flee.  I tried to allow him chances to warm up to me.  I was determined to bond with this dog.

Outside he was a friendly affectionate dog. Inside, he was very skittish & wary.   Then Covid hit.  I began to work from home all the time.  Slowly he began hanging out with us in my office. Then he began to spend more & more time with us in the living room. Then he began coming downstairs to play with the dogs. 

And he began to bloom.   He blossomed right before my eyes.  He loved to play with toys. Don't think he had any before us. Every toy in the house was his. Discovered he loved to go on car rides. He loved the “brushas” & cookies they were given in the morning & evening.   And he love routine. Routines he knew & understood.  Deviations were not welcome. But above all else, he started hanging out with Momma.

Momma cuddled on the floor with him. Momma gave pats & more pats, and lots of kisses. Momma took him on car rides. Momma laughed and loved on him.    Soon his favorite spot was on or by Momma.   Somehow it eventually morphed into his sleeping on top of Momma & cuddling with Momma.  Momma became the center of the universe. 

Soon Momma discovered herself laughing at her little clown.  She found herself loving to climb on the floor for cuddles throughout the work day.   Momma looked forward to bed snuggles.   Momma found herself finding all ways to make Volos happy.    Soon Momma realized she had never loved another dog like this.  
Yes there was Galen, my #1 puppy.  The love of my life, the dog all other dogs measured to…but somehow this scrappy little Bernese dog became the center of my universe.  I would do anything to make him happy.   I worried all the time over him.   

And I was also scared the whole time.   After adopting him, I began reading up on the breed.  A Breed that has an Average life span of 8-10 years.   We had adopted him at 5. How much time was I going to get??? 
And from day 1 we dealt with MCTs.  He had about 4 surgeries to remove a number of MCTs & other fatty cysts. He had his stiff leg, but otherwise he was a very happy & healthy Bernese. Those MCTs though, always in the back of my mind.  I feared losing him.

Each day as he gained confidence he really bloomed, but the addition of Ziva to the pack made the biggest difference.  That little ball of fur forced her presence onto Volos who had no desire to spend any time with her.   She persisted & before you knew it—they were laying together or playing together.    He relished his big brother role. We have tons & tons of photos of them side by side. His final 2 years with Ziva he made the most strides.

Volos loved routine & do not stray outside of that or else you’ll have a nervous /unhappy dog.  Home. Car rides. Farm & in the back door when he's been outside (even if we're in the front). We tried to get him into other things to branch out. Some worked & some didn’t.  

Sent him to daycare where he became the wallflower.  Always against the wall or in the background. Then he took over the couch, becoming the founding member of the Couch Crew.  Eventually he won his battle to stay home.

At home he would happily destroy boxes, chew on his toys, chew on his bones, or just come over to nuzzle punch my arm so that I would give him love.  During lunchtime or after work I would just drive around the area so he could just be happy in the car.

His favorite spot in the house, when not in bed, was the bottom of the stairs. He was happiest down there. If I were upstairs, he’d bark up at me to let me know he was there & was with his stash.  Watching this dog with stiff gimpy leg fly down those steps...

He loved to climb up in my lap either while I was on the couch watching tv or while I was sleeping. When he began to climb into bed & sleeping on top of me, I never felt more safe & happy.


He absolutely loved our morning cuddle sessions in the bed.  
He loved toys. The squeakier the better.   He would just happily play with the new toys he got.  I admit this is where I really spoiled the heck out of him.   He loved to get new toys. It came to the point where I’d come home from shopping & he’d check the bags as I walked in. He knew I got him something.

He loved the wobble wag giggle ball.   That was a big fave from day 1.   He loved to play tug with either Ziva or Peryn.  He loved to mouth fence with Lada.   He enjoyed chasing after Peryn when the latter would push it too far.  
The last month of his life, he seemed to have so much more energy & was just radiant all around.  He became “used to” the farm & would enjoy our visits.  He loved all the squeaky toys he could find.  He loved to wander off to explore occasionally.



The one thing he loved above all else was me.   And boy did I love him.   It got so bad I would hate to leave him for any reason.  I was a nervous wreck when I was away from him.   You want to see the texts I sent Rich when I was at the concert the week before it all came crashing down….

I can go on & on about him. I’m trying to reign it in because I’ll be typing forever.  Every pet parent loves all their kiddoes with all their heart.   However, there is always one or two that just have that extra thing that makes you love them the hardest.

He really did change the pack dynamic.   When it was Duchess, Athena, Peryn & Lada we had 2 young pups & 2 older gals. Duchess & Athena were not travelers. I hated long trips in the car with them as they barked & whined & were just a mess.  

They all got a long splendidly. The girls played with the pups hard.  They all went to daycare together.  They all loved going to the park.   Athena loved to chase after the cattle dogs, Duchess was a loner.   It was an easy pack.  





Athena loved to be in the middle of things. So when we got her the cart, she was able to still join the ACDs in the basement or at the park.   Peryn & Lada would push their herding ball & Athena would chase them bark bark barking.

When Volos joined & eventually began coming out of his shell, he would run with them to the top of the stairs while the P & L headed to the basement.  I’d take Athena & her cart downstairs to play. We’d be down there & Volos would be at the top of the stairs listening …
Eventually he began attempting the stairs. Then he made it down. Soon he began hoarding the toys he collected at the bottom of the stairs.  
He LOVED hanging with the pack.   When Peryn, Lada, & Ziva began staying home from playcare more, he was a very happy dog.

My favorite thing was to hold him while lying down.  Lying in bed cuddling was my #1 favorite thing to do with him.   If life didn’t get in the way, that’s what I’d do every day with him. I loved his silky smooth hair.   He was the sweetest boy.

If it wasn’t the bed, I loved when he climbed up on my lap when I’m in the recliner.  Cuddling with him on my lap didn’t happen all the time, but I loved it when it did.  
I may have complained about the nuzzle punches, but I loved when he came to stand & lean up against me while I worked so I would be rubbing his chest.

I’m really angry about his past week.   After a busy weekend taking the dogs to the Big Splash & then going to see Duran Duran, I came down with covid. I wasn’t as active with them & eventually I moved out of the bedroom to sleep in the living room.

This is when he began staying in the bed.  I was so sick that I didn’t recognize he wasn’t acting right or that something was wrong.    I lost out on bed cuddles.  

I really started noticing he wasn’t 100% on Friday.  He was still playful (he & Peryn tore apart a Lambchop in a game of tug) and that he took the extra ones I got to his spot in the basement.   But he just tired out quicker & was keeping to himself a bit more.

Today when we went to spend time with him before saying Goodbye, it was a shock.  He was NOT doing well.  What I thought would be more time to just be with him was shortened when I saw how bad it was.  I spent my time with him telling him he was my “Handsome” boy that he was the best dog ever, he was a good boy, & Momma loved him more than he would ever know.

The vet feels pretty confident that the blockage was most likely a tumor.  All that time I was so worried about the MCTs on the skin, tumors were growing inside. 


Don’t know if this is a sign or not….but when we arrived at the hospital another lady & her dog arrived. It was a Duchess look alike.  Now not the same coloring, but it was a Duchess.  We asked & it was indeed a husky x boxer mix. Where Duchess was red, this guy was gray.   Same brindle coloring, same type of face.   Duchess is whose spot Volos slid into.      Was it Duchess sending me a sign that she’d take care of my baby boy?   

The loss is very profound & he hasn’t been gone a day.   Walking to the bottom of the stairs to play is empty.  It’s quiet, just Peryn & Lada growling at the ball. No happy Volos barks letting us know he’s down there.  
I don’t know how to get past this.   I know I probably eventually will.  I have lost dogs before—but Volos dude…you were my one & only….   I just feel incomplete.

Tuesday, December 27, 2022

Goodbye Sweet Boy-Ares

Ares 

In the fall of 2014, we met a wonderful woman & her sweet husky pup named Ares.   Around this time we found that Duchess was a Husky mix, so we were invited to join a local Husky group. 

Over the next year we'd attend a handful of Husky and get to know Stacey & her boy Ares.  Soon she added another Husky, Akira, to the mix.  I adored these handsome boys.  They were very vocal when coming to the meets.    

In 2016, after bringing in Peryn, we began to meet up with Stacey & her boys regularly.   Ares and Akira were Peryn's first friends.  Akira was often Peryn's wrestling buddy.    

Throughout 2016 my three, Peryn, Duchess, & Athena would meet up with Stacey's two, Ares & Akria.   I jokingly called Ares my boyfriend cause I just thought he was so handsome. All of Peryn's buddies, outside of the family, were huskies.   He learned to play rough.

My kids got excited to meet up with them.  When Lada joined, her first meetup with them was quite memorable because he put big ole Akira in his place and they were BFFs after that. 

Outside of our meetups at the local dog parks, our pups attended daycare together.  My kids always greeted them with enthusiasm and I always made sure to say Hello to my sweet boys.  

Except for Ziva, all my kids have met them.  Ziva was too young & the boys began having various health issues. 

Stacey let me know earlier this year that Ares was not doing well.  Eventually, after numerous tests, cancer & diabetes were the culprits.   When his health began to decline significantly, I made a trip to visit him in October.    

He reminded me of Athena.  Once a healthy robust pup, now a skinny shadow of himself.  He was partially/mostly blind, but still had his spunk.   I got lots of loving from the 2 of them.   It was heart breaking that his time was winding down.  His diabetes was out of control and his tumors were growing.    

It was a good visit. 

Last week Stacey reached out to me to let me know it was about time for Ares to meet up with Duchess & Athena and the rest of my pack he had yet to meet.   On Christmas eve, I took another trip to visit my sweet boy. He was completely blind and much more subdued than my pervious visit.   It broke my heart.

This once majestic dog who was so full of life and attitude was a shadow of his former self.   He was happy to smell me & it just hurt to see him, knowing this was my last time.   I had wished I could have brought Peryn & Lada, but it wasn't the time or place.   

Today, around the time this posts, Ares is making his journey. He'll be reunited with all his past husky pals and my pack.  He'll be free of pain and be able to see again.  He'll see his big sibling, Malibu, and he'll leave my sweet buddy Akira.   I hurt for Stacey and her family as they say goodbye to such a ball of life.   
Ares was a very vocal singer and just loved to play and swim with all his friends.  

At any park or meetup you could always tell when Stacey & her boys arrived. They would go nuts and could be heard from the parking lot when they arrived. Going to miss his sweet face & voice.

I'm going to make sure I pay Akira extra attention now that he's going to be an only pup.   I'll have to make sure Lada spends time with her BFF (cause she adores him). 

Ares, my sweet boy, run free of pain & suffering.  Have fun with all your pals waiting for you at the end of the Bridge.

Stacey, We love you.  We're sorry you have to go through this and we're here if you need.   

All our love

Peryn, Lada, Volos, & Ziva

Rich & Laurie



Friday, October 14, 2022

In memoriam: Roscoe (the great)


I first introduced you to Roscoe in this post dated: April 19,2021 and mentioned him again in this post: March 17, 2022

Their page : Roscoe and Maggie's adventures

Once upon a time I was obsessed with only Cattle Dogs/Heelers. I belonged to a few ACD Facebook groups for these crazy dogs.   
I began to notice posts of this one dog. He sat and watched TV.  He literally sat there in front of the TV and focused on whatever was on the screen.  He would even "critique" when he wasn't a fan of what he was watching. 

Seeing that there was a page devoted to this dude, I checked it out. Not only was this dog a TV lover, he was obsessed with trains.  Additionally, he was cantankerous. He was awesome.    Seriously, I adored seeing posts about this guy.   
We even sent him some gifts for Christmas.   I was that invested.  

The page was actually devoted to him, Roscoe, his sister Maggie, & their surly poodle brother Eugene.  Each character grew on me & I held great affection for them from afar. 

MAGGIE

Sadly, Maggie passed a few years ago.  Having lost a number my pups, I know how heart wrenching this is.  Susie, the Momma to this crazy bunch, is a gifted writer & shares her thoughts and feelings.   I felt for her and just can't imagine going through that again.   

With Maggie over the rainbow bridge, we got to watch Roscoe's antics & Eugene's surliness.  I see a lot of Peryn in Roscoe.  They want things their way-- they're are NOT fans of doing anything different.  Even though he was a dog on a screen that I never met, I fell in love with this dude.   
Susie's posts of the things he did or did not do made me smile.   Her story telling of the things that the two of them did made you feel like you were there.    

Again, I have never met them, but I felt like he was one of mine.  Eugene was 19 & Roscoe 17.  
Eugene began to really go downhill this year and sadly we all said Goodbye with Susie as he crossed August 15, 2022.  

Leaving only Roscoe.  
She continued to share Roscoe with us after Eugene's crossing.  She even began sharing a new character, Arlo- a foster she was caring for.    Entertaining as always with snippets of reality mixed in with Roscoe's decline.  My heart hurt reading & knowing the clock was running out. 

ARLO


Sadly, last night she posted that Roscoe let her know it was time.  I started bawling immediately.  We've been there. When your fluffy best friend/child is done, they let you know.   It's painful. It's devastating. And at the same time, you do all you can to relieve them of the pain.   It hurts, it really does, but when you love a soul like theirs you do all you can to help them. 



As I've stated, never met Susie and never met Roscoe, Maggie, Eugene, or even Arlo--yet I share in her loss.

I want to make sure you all know of this Unique dog & his crazy obsessions.  I want to make sure he's remembered and loved. 

Susie- Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for sharing your bunch of unique & crazy balls of fur.  It's been a gift to have a peek into yours & their lives. 
We are sorry for your loss.  Know he (they all were) greatly loved.   

Run free Roscoe. Enjoy your reunion with Maggie & Eugene.  Watch over your Momma. 

Please be sure to visit : 

https://www.facebook.com/Roscoesadventures

Thursday, March 17, 2022

MARCH 17 2022 - Tributes, loss, & fears..

 Not exactly sure what to title this post as.   

Tributes

It's been a rough few weeks.  I've been feeling pretty emotional overall & I'm pretty easily affected by things happening to those I have an emotional connection to. Additionally everything happening in the Ukraine, just saddens me so greatly.  I log on each day hoping to find out they are ok & that Russia retreated.    

Then because I am such an animal lover, reading about those fleeing with their pets. UGH breaks my heart. I would never leave my pups--so I feel that so very much.

As I mentioned I get affected by things (people/animals) that I have emotional connections with. 
See my previous posts. I was invested in Bear & am so happy he's home. 


Ludo.  Ugh.  I followed this dog. I adored this dog. To find out he had to leave us just crushed us. I was emotionally invested. Super Ludo Boy There's another reason why his passing really hit me & I'll get to that later. 

I still get tears when I think about this beautiful young boy being gone.  My heart goes out to his Momma & Papa.

I've done a previous post about another dog I follow, Roscoe of Roscoe & Maggie Adventures 

I adore this grumpy stubborn cattle dog. This is going to be Peryn when he is that age ..I am telling you.  I worry about him & check on him regularly.   

Never met him, but I am emotionally invested.   I will be devastated when that awful day comes.   He's a character & that makes it so much easier to fall for a dog I've never met. It was a sad day when Maggie passed a few years ago.  Roscoe has a "brother" Eugene, who I worry about as well.   

 


Brinks

Then there are the dogs that I have met.  I feel it when a friend's pet passes. If I have had significant interaction with the dog, it's going to be worse. 

photo by Megan
Unfortunately this week, that happened.  
Let me tell you about BRINKS.   The first time I saw him was in 2010. Our neighbor had just adopted a cute little guy. On first glance he reminded me sooo much of my first dog, Rusty.  So I was endeared to him from the get go. 

Brinks was an adorable & mischievous puppy (jump through a window anyone?).  He was the cute neighbor dog.   In 2013 I believe, after adopting Duchess,  we attempted a sleep over in order to see if they could get along & watch the dogs if one of us needed in the future.   Didn't exactly work out, but  it wasn't a disaster. 
Along came Athena in 2014 & that girl LOVED dogs.  She loved people, but she was a dog's dog.  She would often take off across the backyards to go play with Brinks if he was out.   When they got Brinks a sister a few year later, Athena was over there every chance she got. She was sad when they moved.

Being that we were friends as well, I still got to see the 2 pups occasionally & easily gave my love & pets to them when I could.

Sadly it was discovered Brinks had an aggressive cancer & joined Athena over the rainbow bridge this week.  I cried.   This was a friends pup. This was a pup I knew & adored. This was a pup my pups had loved.   I am sad & I cried.   

Just wanted to share with you an adorable guy who will be missed beyond words. This gorgeous photo was taken just before his passing.   
Photo taken by Greg Murray



Photo by Greg Murray


My heart & my fear

All my dogs mean the world to me.  I love them more than I can ever say. However, there are ones that have even more of an imprint on my heart for different reasons. 


Galen-I've referred to him as the love of my life in the past.  He was my first & I flipping adored this guy.  He is always special for being the first as well as being the goofy butt that he was.   I loved his smell. I loved he allowed me to "manhandle" him & lie on him.   He was smart. He was gorgeous. He was also a very grumpy old man.    Miss him. 

Duchess- She was my rock.  Her very unexpected passing hit us hard.   She was a strong quiet presence & her passing was a rough one.

Then this dude.   Out of no-where comes this dog. 
I originally didn't want a Bernese (I was ignorant of their traits & charm).  Finally when I agree it was immediately after the loss of Duchess.  It was for Rich.    
When I began reading up on these dogs I was quite shocked to read they had an average life span of  8-10 years.   What?!! Eight to Ten.? Galen, Sheba & Goldberg passed at 14.  Duchess was approximately 12-13 ish (Rescue-age unknown).   Athena- 12-13ish.   Volos was already 5 Then to read about all the health issues--particularly cancer (Ludo).   Ugh.   Why would ANYONE get these dogs?

He was fearful, cautious, & kept to himself.  He would leave the room if I entered. He wouldn't stay with us in the living room for long. Only would come out in small amounts to check on us. LOVED car rides & being outside in the snow.      

Immediately find & schedule surgery for Mast Cell Tumor (Cancer) removal. Already not with us a month & we're 'fighting to keep him healthy".  

Somewhere along the way, can't remember when it happened he began to prefer me.  First he began to join us in my office (Peryn, Lada, & Athena were already hanging in here with me).  The pandemic had begun that March, so I was home all the time as well. 


Then he began coming to me for pets. Then he was hanging out in my office by himself.  While sitting on the couch, he'd some next to me to sit & get pets. Then it was resting on the floor next to me.   The BIG change was when he began climbing into bed to sleep in between my legs & on my torso.  Every night.  We would call him up & he'd get into place & gently lay there on me. 
During my sleep, he'd come up.   Somehow he dug deep & is so my love. This dog is my everything.  

Another 2 surgeries for MCT removals, reading about other BMDs passing due to cancer, finding more bumps.. I am SCARED shitless.   I will not handle losing him well.   I already take him every 6 mos for blood work.  Going to have to have another surgery for MCT removal.  

UGH.   Dude! My heart is not handling this well. 

He already doesn't go to play care often because he prefers hanging with me.  He's such a silly boy. Right now he's acting like such a clown.    My routine at work is approximately every 2-3 hours is to stop what I'm doing & get down to cuddle with him. He gets so excited & is so happy.   

If you've seen the pics from play care or even at a dog park, he's so serious. Keeps to himself.   But that is NOT who he is. He is a happy clown who lives to be in the basement at the bottom of the stairs with his toys & destroyed boxes. He's a happy pup who gets so excited when Momma gets him a snack or toy.  I spoil the crud out of him, I admit it.      He just requires so little to be happy. 

I should just focus on enjoying my time with him...but my thoughts often dwell on Berners & their short life span & health issues. 

That is actually a big factor into why we went to a breeder. We went to someone who has a "history" of healthy Berner's. Berner's living until 12.  Berner's who have a greater chance at living healthier & longer.    Doesn't guarantee it, but odds may be in our favor.

So yes, Ludo's & Brinks passing hit me hard.  I'm already emotional overall & this just leads me down a path of thoughts I should avoid.  

Someone a dog from a Breed I wasn't too keen on a few years ago is my heart dog. This is my boy. I love him like no other. 
 

  


Friday, August 28, 2020

Two things......

 Let me describe the insanity that is going on in my home right now on this rainy Friday night.

Dogs went to day care today.  Approximately 9+ hours.    They come home and immediately want to begin playing.

After dinner, Peryn & Volos headed straight to the basement to play their little "games" or whatever it is they do..bark at one another. 

Lada--I bought a small shooter to use upstairs ( I got tired of touching wet balls).  Unfortunately it takes the small tennis balls.   SO we begin to play with that. She immediately loses one ball.  Finds the other and then Volos comes flying back upstairs because he's decided he LOVES this new blaster.   
So both of them are fighting for the balls.  He takes the one squeaky one and I find one of the originals that came with the blaster.

However this ball is dead. Broken open, felt peeling off, & the blaster will barely hold it.  SO begins the shooting of the orange "ball" that they fight over.  If Volos gets it, Lada then runs to the basement in search of the yellow squeaky one.   If Lada gets it, it's clash of the...errrrr it's a rumble.

Meanwhile, Peryn is in the basement doing....whatever...  I can't tell you what because he's not making a sound.   He's not rolling his herding ball nor is he holding a squeaky toy. So who the heck knows what he's doing.   

Lada comes back over to me, expecting me to shoot off a ball, but she's failed to bring me back one.   SO I have nothing to shoot....well I do but I don't want to open those balls yet.    We get up and go to look where one is. Volos is sitting there at the entrance of my office and just breathing hard staring at the steps....why? NO Clue.   
Lada then runs to the basement to look for the ball which is actually in Rich's office.   
More running around and I get the ball back.    
Shoot it off  and then nothing.   Silence.  I look down, Lada is waiting for me to shoot off a non-existent ball. I head to the foyer, at the bottom of the stairs, standing and looking up is Volos.  He comes flying upstairs and then Peryn pops his head around the corner to let me know he exists.

Currently all 3 are sitting around me in the living room. Peryn whining at me for....I have no idea.  Lada keeps pawing the blaster. Volos nudged the blaster.   I'm trying to tell them I need a ball to shoot.   They aren't getting it.....


Well, here we are 2 weeks since we said good-bye to Athena.   It was hard.  I miss that sweet girl.   She never deserved everything that happened to her.  However if a dog was going to get that crap, she would be the best candidate because she was just sooo happy.

Her last day

She didn't go down like Galen, Goldberg, or Duchess.  She struggled to breathe at the end.  It was a bit traumatic for me as it was very reminiscent of my father's passing.   
It's just hard.

We never realized how much of our lives was devoted to her.   I'll give you an overview. 

Waking up in the am, I would let the pups out to go bathroom. *IF* she was up, I'd have to go pick her up and carry her outside.  I'd have to stand out there and hold her rear up by the harness and wait for her to pee or poop.   Sometimes it was quick other times I would have to move her around to get the right "spot" in order for her to go.

I'd bring her back in and place her on the bed in either the living room or my office. It depended what time I got up (4 or 5) and what room I was in.  
If she had soiled the bed, I would have to go take care of that.    

I would then hand out their brush chews.    If I was in the living room, I would pick her up and carry her into my office.   If we were already there..no biggie.   

Rich would get up about 6:15 and come check on her status.   Sometimes we took her back out other times she was fine.   He would then go and prepare her morning pills.  

I would then get up and retrieve her bowl and fill it up with water and food.   
If the others were hyper and running around, Athena would be barking at them as they did so.  If not, they all laid there.. Usually Lada curled up beside Athena.

Eventually Rich would take the pups to day care and so would begin the day of Athena & I from home.   She would take naps, but darn if that girl did not have a 6th sense of my leaving the room.  I'd pop back in and there she was up awaiting for me.

Most days she was pretty chill. Other days she would we very agitated. It was on those days that I would take her out multiple times to make sure she went.  She HATED going and sitting in it.  

If I ever left the room for more that 10 minutes, she'd begin barking .  She wanted me to know she wanted to be with me.

Most of the time our days would be boring. WHen I went to lunch, I'd bring her in the living room while I made lunch in the kitchen.  I'd bring her back to the office when done. 

I'd get off work at 2:30 and once more we'd take a bathroom break.  I would then bring her back in to either the office , living room, or bedroom depending on what I had to do. 

A lot of times I'd get on the floor next to her and cuddle with her.   SHe loved being cuddled or hugged.  

On really nice days, I'd put her at the back door to watch people walk by.  She loved watching out the window. 

I'd start dinner and she would watch me from her bed.  WHen the other cames home she would get so happy. Oftentimes she'd lift her front up and swivel around to watch them come in. 

After diinner was her cuddle time with Daddy. Rich would get on the floor in front of the couch and just pet her. She loved to place her head on his leg.  The other crazies would run around and she would bark at them.  She loved her pack.

At 8 it'd be bedtime and we'd take her out one last time, she'd get her pills, and we'd set her up in bed. Her nighttime treat was ice cubes in her water. She loved to gnaw on them. 

Now often during all of this she would soil her bedding and we'd have to wash it.  SO there was an awful lot of bed changing. 

On non-daycare days I made it a habit to take them all out or down to the basement at lunch to let them play.  She'd get 20 mins of cart and running time.   Sometimes I couldn't do it and it would just be a change of rooms while I prepped lunch. 

AFTER work on non-day care days they definitely got Mommy time.  I'd take Athena out and when I brought her back in, put her in her cart. The dogs got excited because they knew that meant play time. Even Athena did. 

We'd either go outside or to the basement. There she would roll around chasing after Peryn & Lada with their ball.  If it was the basement, she would always pee while in her cart and I ended up cleaning up the floor while they played. 

She LIVED for this time.  SO depending on how she was feeling and what I had going on , we'd be down there for 45 mins to an hour and a half.  I may have had things to do, but I let them go.  I knew this wouldn't last long.  Athena playing with her siblings.   

I also used this time as a gauge on how her disease progressed.  
After play we'd come upstairs and I'd place her on the bed in the living room. 

The rest of the evening proceeded like day care days. 

Caring for her became such a part of our day to day life, we never realized just how much we did until we weren't doing it.   It felt wrong and empty at first. 

We're relieved that she's not miserable anymore and that we don't have to wash bedding day in and out, but I would happily put up with that to have her back with me---healthy at least.

The others? Now sure. It is only this week that Lada has gone back to lying on the beds where Athena laid.  She had avoided them since that day...so I don't know if that means she's accepted it & is coming to terms with it  or if I am reading too much into it. 

THank you for all the messages and gifts we received.  Each and every one meant the world to us.  That you guys know what she meant to us. 

So that's pretty much it for now.  The pack and their crazy antics and the hole that Athena left....... Until next time. 

See her spine? She lost so much muscle mass

Closer look at her spine. See her bald spot

Friday, August 14, 2020

Pupdate: Athena Marie August 14 2020

 In April 2014 I began this blog as a way to chronicle Athena's road to recovery for those who wanted to know how she was doing.  

It began right after adoption day when we brought her home with infections & a weak legs from living in cramped & unhealthy conditions in the mill she lived in.

As time went on this page evolved to including Duchess, Peryn, Lada, & Now Volos.  Also as Athena's disease started to manifest itself and progress, I've updated as time went on. 

It's with a heavy heart that I must inform you that Athena has been released from her current prison, her body.  SHe now runs free with her older pack siblings and no longer requires a cart.

Over the past few months I had noticed a slow decline in her physcial and mental states.  She has exhibited most of the late stage symptoms and if a decision was not made, would enter the crisis stage.


Two weekends ago we were able to take her to the new Dog Farm where she ran, explored, and had a great time with her pack.


Last Friday she went to day care and had a fabulous time running all over. 

Since then she has been unable to hold herself up in the cart.  Yesterday she attended day care for the final time.  She went in a wagon vs a cart.   

She's been spoiled big time the past few weeks.  We sent out a notice to family & friends indicating that if they wanted to see her one last time, they better come and see her. 


She's had visitors come love upon her and last night one of her BFFs Mom & human brother came and she got to eat a full cupcake to herself as well as get loved on. 

The worst part of all this is that she's mentally alert & present.  When she's up and getting attention or around her siblings, she's very responsive.   We have to keep reminding ourselves it's her body that failed her.   She no longer has the quality of life she used to. 

She was spoiled rotten these past few days and we know she left this world surrounded by love. Yesterday Daycare & human snacks. Today for lunch was McDonalds.  We loved on her as much as we could before the appointment. 

We are heartbroken, yet relieved.   She no longer has to watch from the sidelines.  

Below the photos is some DM information .








Below I'm leaving some info  to Degenerative Myelopathy for your reading up on this horrible disease. A link at the top takes you to a page with a number of Different links to more detailed DM information.


F Y I - Athena lived approximately 2.5+ years after initial symptoms began presenting themselves. 


Quick DM information

Afflicts dogs in their older years. It is a progressive condition affecting the spinal cord causing the dog to become paraplegic after six months to one year. 

The disease ultimately reaches the brain stem and cranial nerves and, since there is no cure, it leads to death.


The onset of this condition is typically when the dog is between eight and 14 years old. 


The long-term prognosis is poor and most animals are euthanized within 6 months to 3 years of diagnosis as the disease progresses. 


When they can no longer walk and a cart is not an option, end of life care or euthanasia should be considered.



Early Stages

Progressive weakness of the hind limbs

Worn nails

Difficulty rising

Stumbling

Knuckling of the toes

Scuffing hind feet

Wearing of the inner digits of the rear paws

Loss of muscle in the rear legs

Tremors of the rear legs


Late Stages

Persistent early stages

Urinary and fecal incontinence

Eventual front leg weakness from compensatory strain

Mental stress and anxiety

Pressure sores on boney prominences

Inability to rise

Muscle atrophy

Poor hygiene - soiled appearance

Pneumonia

Depression

Infection/sepsis

Constipation

Organ failure


Crisis — Seek Vet immediately

Difficulty breathing

Prolonged seizures

Uncontrollable vomiting/diarrhea

Sudden collapse

Profuse bleeding — internal or external

Crying/whining from pain