Volos Alexander, my Most Handsome, Destroyer of Boxes

Volos Alexander 

Longtime friends & family probably expected this. For those newer, I’ve written a tribute to each of my babies who has passed.  I don’t know if I’ll be able to get through this one though.  I am not even going to promise to try not to make this long…. This will definitely be a wordy introduction to my tribute.

In our lives we’ve been privileged to have been owned by a total of 9 dogs: Galen, Sheba, Goldberg, Duchess, Athena, Peryn, Lada, Volos, & Ziva.    Each one of them have brought something special into our lives. Each & every one of them were different and boy were they loved.    Galen, Sheba, Goldberg, & Athena were unique in that when the time came, it was of our choosing.    Duchess was the shocker.  Came out of nowhere & was quick and it was sudden.  Volos was essentially the same.   We only had the privilege of choosing the time for 4 of the ones who have gone on.  

As I said, each dog has brought something different & special to our lives.   Volos though… this dog we had with us the shortest, yet he made the BIGGEST impact.  

Volos came out of nowhere & stole the show.  My heart soon followed.  
After a very trying & stressful year of 2019, we unexpectedly lost Duchess on Dec 5 2019.  She was a unique dog in that she wasn’t overtly affectionate.  She had a strong steady presence in our lives that when she left, the hole she left was definitely not expected.  

Our plan at the time was to wait until Athena passed. We were still dealing with her DM & that was a lot along with 2 young cattle dogs.  We just wanted to focus on that. 

However a conversation that Rich had had with me MONTHS prior shaped what was to come. I was all about the cattle dogs & only had my sights on them.  In early 2019 (maybe), he said to me “I’m not saying now, but in the future our next dog needs to be a Bernese mountain dog.”   I looked it up quickly & initially was not blown away by the few pics I saw.  I definitely wasn’t impressed, but every time the future dogs were spoken of Rich had to say “Bernese!”

Fast forward to January 18^th, 2020.  I went to a girl’s night-in at my friend’s house.  We were discussing dogs & I was questioned: “when I was getting another” dog &  "would it be another Heeler"? I explained we’d like to wait until after Athena passes & no it would not be another Heeler because Rich wanted a Bernese.  None of them were sure what one looked like so K looks up on her phone & shows the rest of them.   They were all “ooh that’s handsome” dog or "that's a big dog".   

Cut to the next morning, I am awaking from a good night’s sleep & grab my phone. My friend L, who was there the night before, sent a text with a link to a post.   Essentially it said something to the effect that “our phones were listening in on us”.   It was a link to a FB post regarding a Bernese for adoption in Ashland County-which was only an hour away at most.

Over the next hour or two, I shared the info with Rich, & we were hemming & hawing that it’s “too soon”, “Bernese’s in shelters are rare”, “another dog…”   Essentially it is left up to me to say “Might as well”.

We applied, got chosen,  and drove to pick him up the next day, Jan 20 Martin Luther King Jr Day.   He was a very sweet dog when we met with him.   He was a nervous wreck on the way home & even worse when we got him home.

He was definitely an abused dog that hid in Rich’s office & inside the crate when he didn’t get the courage to make his way out for some pats.  It stayed this way for awhile.

Over the next few weeks he would still hide away, but would start making his way for attention more often.    He felt comfortable enough with Rich to stay in the room when Rich entered.  Although if I entered the room, he’d flee.  I tried to allow him chances to warm up to me.  I was determined to bond with this dog.

Outside he was a friendly affectionate dog. Inside, he was very skittish & wary.   Then Covid hit.  I began to work from home all the time.  Slowly he began hanging out with us in my office. Then he began to spend more & more time with us in the living room. Then he began coming downstairs to play with the dogs. 

And he began to bloom.   He blossomed right before my eyes.  He loved to play with toys. Don't think he had any before us. Every toy in the house was his. Discovered he loved to go on car rides. He loved the “brushas” & cookies they were given in the morning & evening.   And he love routine. Routines he knew & understood.  Deviations were not welcome. But above all else, he started hanging out with Momma.

Momma cuddled on the floor with him. Momma gave pats & more pats, and lots of kisses. Momma took him on car rides. Momma laughed and loved on him.    Soon his favorite spot was on or by Momma.   Somehow it eventually morphed into his sleeping on top of Momma & cuddling with Momma.  Momma became the center of the universe. 

Soon Momma discovered herself laughing at her little clown.  She found herself loving to climb on the floor for cuddles throughout the work day.   Momma looked forward to bed snuggles.   Momma found herself finding all ways to make Volos happy.    Soon Momma realized she had never loved another dog like this.  
Yes there was Galen, my #1 puppy.  The love of my life, the dog all other dogs measured to…but somehow this scrappy little Bernese dog became the center of my universe.  I would do anything to make him happy.   I worried all the time over him.   

And I was also scared the whole time.   After adopting him, I began reading up on the breed.  A Breed that has an Average life span of 8-10 years.   We had adopted him at 5. How much time was I going to get??? 
And from day 1 we dealt with MCTs.  He had about 4 surgeries to remove a number of MCTs & other fatty cysts. He had his stiff leg, but otherwise he was a very happy & healthy Bernese. Those MCTs though, always in the back of my mind.  I feared losing him.

Each day as he gained confidence he really bloomed, but the addition of Ziva to the pack made the biggest difference.  That little ball of fur forced her presence onto Volos who had no desire to spend any time with her.   She persisted & before you knew it—they were laying together or playing together.    He relished his big brother role. We have tons & tons of photos of them side by side. His final 2 years with Ziva he made the most strides.

Volos loved routine & do not stray outside of that or else you’ll have a nervous /unhappy dog.  Home. Car rides. Farm & in the back door when he's been outside (even if we're in the front). We tried to get him into other things to branch out. Some worked & some didn’t.  

Sent him to daycare where he became the wallflower.  Always against the wall or in the background. Then he took over the couch, becoming the founding member of the Couch Crew.  Eventually he won his battle to stay home.

At home he would happily destroy boxes, chew on his toys, chew on his bones, or just come over to nuzzle punch my arm so that I would give him love.  During lunchtime or after work I would just drive around the area so he could just be happy in the car.

His favorite spot in the house, when not in bed, was the bottom of the stairs. He was happiest down there. If I were upstairs, he’d bark up at me to let me know he was there & was with his stash.  Watching this dog with stiff gimpy leg fly down those steps...

He loved to climb up in my lap either while I was on the couch watching tv or while I was sleeping. When he began to climb into bed & sleeping on top of me, I never felt more safe & happy.

He absolutely loved our morning cuddle sessions in the bed.  
He loved toys. The squeakier the better.   He would just happily play with the new toys he got.  I admit this is where I really spoiled the heck out of him.   He loved to get new toys. It came to the point where I’d come home from shopping & he’d check the bags as I walked in. He knew I got him something.

He loved the wobble wag giggle ball.   That was a big fave from day 1.   He loved to play tug with either Ziva or Peryn.  He loved to mouth fence with Lada.   He enjoyed chasing after Peryn when the latter would push it too far.  
The last month of his life, he seemed to have so much more energy & was just radiant all around.  He became “used to” the farm & would enjoy our visits.  He loved all the squeaky toys he could find.  He loved to wander off to explore occasionally.

The one thing he loved above all else was me.   And boy did I love him.   It got so bad I would hate to leave him for any reason.  I was a nervous wreck when I was away from him.   You want to see the texts I sent Rich when I was at the concert the week before it all came crashing down….

I can go on & on about him. I’m trying to reign it in because I’ll be typing forever.  Every pet parent loves all their kiddoes with all their heart.   However, there is always one or two that just have that extra thing that makes you love them the hardest.

He really did change the pack dynamic.   When it was Duchess, Athena, Peryn & Lada we had 2 young pups & 2 older gals. Duchess & Athena were not travelers. I hated long trips in the car with them as they barked & whined & were just a mess.  

They all got a long splendidly. The girls played with the pups hard.  They all went to daycare together.  They all loved going to the park.   Athena loved to chase after the cattle dogs, Duchess was a loner.   It was an easy pack.  

Athena loved to be in the middle of things. So when we got her the cart, she was able to still join the ACDs in the basement or at the park.   Peryn & Lada would push their herding ball & Athena would chase them bark bark barking.

When Volos joined & eventually began coming out of his shell, he would run with them to the top of the stairs while the P & L headed to the basement.  I’d take Athena & her cart downstairs to play. We’d be down there & Volos would be at the top of the stairs listening …
Eventually he began attempting the stairs. Then he made it down. Soon he began hoarding the toys he collected at the bottom of the stairs.  
He LOVED hanging with the pack.   When Peryn, Lada, & Ziva began staying home from playcare more, he was a very happy dog.

My favorite thing was to hold him while lying down.  Lying in bed cuddling was my #1 favorite thing to do with him.   If life didn’t get in the way, that’s what I’d do every day with him. I loved his silky smooth hair.   He was the sweetest boy.

If it wasn’t the bed, I loved when he climbed up on my lap when I’m in the recliner.  Cuddling with him on my lap didn’t happen all the time, but I loved it when it did.  
I may have complained about the nuzzle punches, but I loved when he came to stand & lean up against me while I worked so I would be rubbing his chest.

I’m really angry about his past week.   After a busy weekend taking the dogs to the Big Splash & then going to see Duran Duran, I came down with covid. I wasn’t as active with them & eventually I moved out of the bedroom to sleep in the living room.

This is when he began staying in the bed.  I was so sick that I didn’t recognize he wasn’t acting right or that something was wrong.    I lost out on bed cuddles.  

I really started noticing he wasn’t 100% on Friday.  He was still playful (he & Peryn tore apart a Lambchop in a game of tug) and that he took the extra ones I got to his spot in the basement.   But he just tired out quicker & was keeping to himself a bit more.

Today when we went to spend time with him before saying Goodbye, it was a shock.  He was NOT doing well.  What I thought would be more time to just be with him was shortened when I saw how bad it was.  I spent my time with him telling him he was my “Handsome” boy that he was the best dog ever, he was a good boy, & Momma loved him more than he would ever know.

The vet feels pretty confident that the blockage was most likely a tumor.  All that time I was so worried about the MCTs on the skin, tumors were growing inside. 

Don’t know if this is a sign or not….but when we arrived at the hospital another lady & her dog arrived. It was a Duchess look alike.  Now not the same coloring, but it was a Duchess.  We asked & it was indeed a husky x boxer mix. Where Duchess was red, this guy was gray.   Same brindle coloring, same type of face.   Duchess is whose spot Volos slid into.      Was it Duchess sending me a sign that she’d take care of my baby boy?   

The loss is very profound & he hasn’t been gone a day.   Walking to the bottom of the stairs to play is empty.  It’s quiet, just Peryn & Lada growling at the ball. No happy Volos barks letting us know he’s down there.  
I don’t know how to get past this.   I know I probably eventually will.  I have lost dogs before—but Volos dude…you were my one & only….   I just feel incomplete.