Sept 16 2023

Saturday September 16 2023 at 21:10 

Freaking out.  I'm trying to tell myself he's just acting like this because he's a super sensitive boy. That he senses Momma is really not feeling well.    

He had a stressful weekend. First we took him to the Big Splash. He was stressed out as it was very chaotic & unfamiliar.   

Then Sunday Momma left around 4pm and didn't return until 1:30 AM.   So he had 2 highly stressful days.   
Monday, Momma recovered by sleeping most of the day ...which also coincides with when I began falling ill.

Was stuffy & congested on Tuesday & by Wed I felt horrible.   I had a fever & slept most of Wednesday.  Thursday night & Friday night I did not sleep in the bed.   

Earlier this week, Monday perhaps, he peed in the basement.   Him preferring to stay in the bed in the mornings is nothing new.

Thursday throughout the morning he stayed in the bedroom but did come to lay next to me on the couch.   Friday, he was in the bed all morning. 

I did get him to get active when the toys I ordered were delivered. He played like normal with the toys.  

Saturday, today, he's been off.   Quiet.  He either stayed in the bedroom , the basement, or outside.  Most of this evening he was lying in the basement, on the one carpet.  Not even at the bottom of the stairs.    
I went down there to check on him & he just was lying there.   Head up, but lying there.    I got on the floor to cuddle with him & he just accepted it.   

I got him to come upstairs by taking one of the lambchops & squeaking it. He got up to grab it & did come upstairs.   Now he's lying in the bed. 

He's barely eaten & he hasn't drank water.   I am praying this is just a sympathetic illness & not anything serious.  I cannot handle anything else.   Not right now when I'm so sick.

I'm trying to to get Rich sick, hence the sleeping apart.   I originally thought maybe he would want to lie out here with me, but I under-estimated the power of the bed. 

I cannot even begin to describe the devastation that will happen if this is anything else.

Please please please universe.  Keep him healthy..

9/19/23

Ended up taking him to the ER on Sunday evening.  They gave him some meds for the vomiting & diarrhea & something for hydration. Came home & slept in the bed with me. 

Yesterday morning he was back to his oldself in the am. Ate some chicken & rice like a champ.

However it kind of went downhill from there. He refused to eat anything else. Barely drank.   He got all worked up with Peryn when I went downstairs, but otherwise he was off.    

In the evening he went off by himself to the farthest corner to lay down.    He eventually made his way back to the bedroom & eventually the bed.

This morning he drank a little, but still turns his head at food.  However he did run downstairs with the rest of the pack & barked a bit. However the lack of food & energy did him in quick.

He is in my office with me, so he wants to do all the things...he just can't eat or drink.   I'm going to take him in again. I should try to wait until 8am but I don't know if I can.

I can't sit by & watch him waste away.    

I'm going to have to deal with spending $$ to try & get him diagnosed.

17:49

By now, most of you know the score. 

Took him in cause he was definitely not getting better.   Taking an xray of his stomach & intestines found a bunch of gas & possibly something else? Not sure at this time.    
The main issue is the mass they found.  They're pretty sure it's cancer. Of course that news devastates me. However it doesn't completely surprise me as he is a Berner & he has had issues with masses. 

No the issue is if what's in his intestines does not dissipate or move, they can't even do surgery because of the mass indicated above.  

Gut punch.  This is not happening.   I'm more scared about the current issue than cancer.  Why? It may not be cancer. Even if it is, it may not be aggressive...  There are still so many unknowns.... 

But this current issue....   This is robbing him of getting nutrition from food & water. This is causing him discomfort.   This is robbing me of my time left.   

I have to make it through the rest of the night & morning before I can hear anything.  I don't know how I'll do that. 

After work today, I decided to keep myself busy by picking up & cleaning. Since I was sick the previous week, cleaning fell by the wayside.   
The other 3 are at daycare so I could get a bunch done without them here. 

I ran into issues with that. Everywhere there are toys.   A majority of them are either his or Ziva & his to play tug with.  I found his most favorite ball....I can't do anything with that yet.   

I then think of Ziva & how is she going to handle it if it comes to that? She has adored him from her setting her eyes on him.  She loves playing tug with him. She loves lying near him.  How is she going to deal.

Then Peryn...he may be the biggest AH on the planet, but he freaking is obsessed with Volos.  How will he be on the days when the girls go to daycare?  How will I be?

I hate the not knowing.   

I keep praying to my Dad to keep my boy safe & give me just a little more time. 

I knew time was running short. He's a Berner after all.   I kept hoping "cause he's smaller" or "maybe we'll be the lucky ones" to make it longer.   

I had ZERO clues that this dog would become my whole world.   I really didn't.   I'm begging the universe....just give me more time.  Time to bring him home. More cuddles. More sleeping in bed. More I love yous.    

I'm MAD. MAD as hell that this happened while i was sick. While I couldn't be in bed with him. While I couldn't play with them...  My sickness robbed me.  Maybe I would have noticed sooner & could have gotten him help sooner...

Currently awaiting the rest of the family to come home.  I'm going to have to give love and attention to the rest of the crew. I am going to have to keep an eye on them to see if they look for him.    

ugh. a big rock in my chest....

9/20/23

It's too effing quiet. 

This morning taking them downstairs...too quiet. 

Rich coming in the office this morning, too quiet.

Sitting here working it's too quiet. 

I do not like this quiet.

Called vet last night before bed. He's resting comfortably. Been out to pee a few times.   

I miss him.

9:22AM

Devastated beyond belief. He has some blockage. It's bad, he is spitting /throwing up whenever they move him.. 
We could do an ultra sound to get more info. However with the mass near his lungs, the odds aren't great.

I'm pissed at Rich for going into work. I'm pissed that I can't get a hold of him.  I want to hold my boy.

9:58AM
Rich is coming home from work.  Now I've been trying to call the vet back, but there has been an issue with the phone lines all morning. The call will not go through. 

Plan is to go see him & spend some time with him before we release him from his pain.   If I could just get a hold of the Dr.

Volos

Today I dropped Volos off for his surgery a little after 8am. 

He had 3 different lumps. Each of them were not alike in anyway.    With his history of MCTs, I told them to let the vet decide if any needed to be sent off for pathology.  She would know which, if any, were suspicious. 

His day started off wrong. He wanted to chew on his Pork Chomp, but I took it away this morning.  I wouldn't give him a brush chew. I wouldn't let him eat or drink.   

Then I take him to the vet.  He's already nervous because an early morning car ride is out of his normal routine.  Then in the vet he must have sensed my nervousness, because he was even more nervous than usual.   UGH!!

Of course I hated leaving him.

Came home to Peryn who was all alone. I don't think he's ever been home alone.   So he was quite happy to see Momma.

Peryn was quite happy at lunch and tried to continue play time long after lunch. Momma had to use Momma voice to get him to stop and lay down.  He would have kept going all afternoon if he had his way.

Just received the call from the vet. Surgery went well. They removed the 3 spots and the vet decided the one on his torso, by his leg, really should be sent for pathology.  I am not surprised the one she sent as that one was concerning to me as I've monitored its growth this past year.    

Prayers that the margins are clear AND that the grade of the tumor is low!!!!

I get to pick him up in 2 hours.  He will not be getting an E-collar nor a donut.  The wound on his neck cannot be "rubbed" the way the collar would. SO now I have to locate a turtleneck that would fit him. Oh the fun times I'm about to have. 

I'm relieved he made it through surgery.  

Looks like I am going to be taking Peryn to PetSmart with me to search for a sweater for my big Dude. 

Well, Peryn & I went to PetSmart to look for a sweater of Volos. 

Peryn fooled everyone into thinking he's this sweet quite boy. HA!!    Little Jerk peed on a display thing while we were there. 

I did find the perfect sweater for Volos though. I also picked him up some new toys as his "Get Well/Forgive me" presents.

Dude is a little loopy. His one incision is swollen, but he was so relieved to leave there and get in the car to leave.  When we got home he was quite pleased with my offerings. 

Oh, and he looks so handsome in his sweater.    And he better because the surgery was ....a lot.  Like much more than we thought. 

Right now, he & Peryn are checking each other out. Peryn is making sure Volos is ok.  Volos is unsure what he wants to do or go.    I'm just glad to have him home.

We just need to wait for the results.

I'm going to go ice his one surgical site now and hopefully he'll chill out. 

I will keep you all posted on any news I hear.

Volos and his recovery

 Dec 17 2020.

Volos update.

This dog.......   
IF you remember back in Jan/Feb we took him to the vet for the "7 day return policy".....  Back then he had 2 lumps removed. One was just fatty tissue and the other was a Mast Cell Tumor.  (MCT from here on out).     MCT's are essentially a form of cancer.    Statistics indicate 60%-70% dogs that develop an MCT only develop one.

One thing to note about Bernese Mountain Dogs is a large reason their life spans average 8 years is a number of them develop cancer. 

Volos had 3 removed recently.  We only elected to send 2 off to pathology.  Those 2 were MCTs.   So at this point in time, anytime Volos has a growth on him, we have to monitor and have the vet evaluate.   Fun times ahead.

Surgery went well. Clear margins on all the removals.   However, our issue has been with Volos afterwards.    His one site, next to his eye, has had zero issues. 

He caused the one on his back right leg to leak and weep blood after coming home, but essentially was fine.   

The one on his left front leg has been the biggest PITA.   He blew the stitches and then the wound opened more.    The vet chose not to re-stitch as the location is not conducive for stitches and recovery...especially as much as Volos moves about. 

It looks REALLY nasty, but it's healing on course.   

He had his stitches taken out and I don't know if his movements did something , but the back hind wound is bleeding. Essentially it looks like it tore open. I didn't really look at it when he came out of the vet, but I know going in it was fine.   GRRRR

Thing is, he's REALLY REALLY DIFFICULT to hold down to look at. I have no issues with him letting me wrap his front leg, but trying to let me look at his back wound....yeah.  Rich is going to have to do that. I was able to throw on a bandage. So frustrating. Let me tell you! Looks like another wound we have to let close

However in spite of all the blood and guts, he's had zero issues with it.   He is too active.  He paces & runs when the other 2 are home.

Definitely my problem child.   

 

The dogs are doing well otherwise.  Hyper and crazy, but they gel well together...mostly.  Volos and Peryn are a very odd pair.  Peryn does EVERYTHING he can to try to entice VOLOS to play with him.  

And here we have a Christmas gem for you..